Vein Popper #15 - Migraines... a literal vein popper

I am a migraine sufferer. Along with that, I am a frequent headache sufferer. This is due to a couple reasons.

#1. I'm a big guy, which means I'm not the healthiest guy in the world. This means that my blood pressure is probably a tad on the high side which can, surprise surprise... CAUSE HEADACHES! I AM working on this little problem so
back the hell off!

#2. My very genetic makeup. You see, Mother Nature decided not to give me a cool mutation like bone claws, enhanced healing factor, or wings... OK, that last one may not work because a guy my size would need wings the size of a bloody bus! No... I got this nifty little mutation that makes me hypersensitive to the barometeric pressure so I can sense storms coming. Cool right??? NOOOOoooooo... you see the warning system I have is in the form of nausea and... can you guess the punch line?? THAT'S RIGHT!!! MIGRAINES!!!

You see the irony in this right?? I can literally sense when a severe storm is approaching. One so bad it can cause tornado's and the such... you know the ones right? The ones that can KILL YOU!! But my early warning system is debillitating headaches that leave me unable to move... I'll just take a moment to let that sink in.

Intelligent design my ass!

But the only thing worse then these headaches are the people who never get them, and think you're faking it to get out of... . I CURSE ALL YOU THAT DO THIS WITH HEMORRHOIDS THE SIZE OF BOWLING BALLS!