Vein Popper #124 - The "Playa" holding up the line

I work at a place that requires you to drive through a security check and show them your badge with your picture on it. Pretty simple and fairly quick when a person has their badge ready and their window down as they drive up to the security guard. What can derail this simple transaction of identity is when there is an attractive female security guard manning the checkpoint (It may slow down woman if there is an attractive male security guard but i'm not sure... woman's brains don't tend to be located in two locations on their bodies).

Now, the problem arises when a male see's that their is a female security officer and does everything humanly possible to get into the lane that goes to her checkpoint... this includes cutting other motorists off causing THEM to veer into the ditch spooking the hidden security agents in the trees who are already a little jumpy from downing a 6 pack of redbull and reading the latest issue of "Guns'n'Ammo". These wired officers then mistake the ditched 1997 honda civic for a military grade hummer full of Terrorists. The ensuing gun battle could be viewed as a tad one sided. AND all of this happens just because some guy wanted to make sure he got to hit on an attractive security agent!

That being said, this IS NOT what pops my veins (I don't drive a civic so what do I care?? It's actually fun to watch if you keep your head). What cheeses me off is these guys have to make small talk with the security guard thinking she might ACTUALLY be interested in them!! That's all fine and good but can you strike out on your OWN time please!! After watching (and in the summer when my window is down, hearing) them crash and burn countless number of times, it does get a little old. And the worst part is we are in the midst of a hiring blitz so there are lots of new guys coming to the site thinking they have a shot! I'm having to leave earlier and earlier to make it on time at work because I have to wait in line for these hot shots to strike out!

One final note. I must apologize. I did embellish things a little bit about the security agents shooting up the civic. As far as I know, none of the agents can read :)

ADDENDUM!
On reflection, I was a bit critical of our security forces seeing as they are NOT the problem. I just threw in a few things for laughs. If you can't figure out what I made up and didn't make up, then you're a moron.